Anxiety

As I discussed a couple of days ago in my last post, going back to school can stress some teens out due to the immense pressure they feel to make good grades, participate in extra-curricular activities, and to lead an active social life, in addition to any responsibilities they have at home. If you know or think your teen may be prone to turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms due to school-related or other stressors, utilize these tips to help your teen stay as stress-free as possible this year.

Model healthy coping behaviors: I think one of the best ways you can teach your teens how to cope in healthy ways is to model healthy coping mechanisms. If your teen sees you drink alcohol, smoke, or eat when you are upset, angry, or stressed out, he or she is likely to follow your pattern. If you, as a parent, don’t already have healthy coping mechanisms you use to deal with your stress, I encourage you to develop healthy strategies to cope with stress while you talk about coping with your teen.

Set realistic expectations: Additionally, don’t pressure your kids to be perfect. If they are struggling in school, don’t assume they are lazy. Some teens try hard in school, yet don’t understand the subjects they are studying enough to get good grades. Talk to your teen instead of yelling at him or her to get to the bottom of the problem. If your teen is depressed, get him or her professional help. If your teen is having trouble understanding certain subjects, hire a tutor. As parents, your responsibility is to help your teen be the best he or she can be — without setting unrealistic expectations for them.

Help your teen set realistic goals for this school year. Some examples of realistic goals are:
-Achieve As and Bs in classes
-Doing one daily chore after school
-Going to church, temple, etc. if you are religious
-Participating in a reasonable number of extra-curricular activities
-Setting aside time for your teen to do what he or she loves for at least a half an hour every day
-Setting a reasonable bedtime/curfew for their age

Discussing and helping your teen set realistic goals and limits will help him or her learn to manage his or her stress more easily, a lesson that will last a lifetime.

Allow your teen to do things they enjoy: It is important for teens to get an education. However, it is also important to let teens have time to be teenagers - they are still kids. Allow some time for your teen to enjoy doing what they like to do - ride horses, knit, read, hang out at the mall, hang out with their friends, and so forth.

Allow your teen to express himself or herself: Parents, it may be hard to get your teen to talk to you about how he or she feels. Keep the lines of communication open, though. Let your teen know you are there for them if they want to talk. If they do open up and you don’t like what they have to say, discuss what was said calmly rather than yelling at your teen. The way you respond to your teen will determine whether or not your teen will talk to you again when he or she is troubled.

If your teen is uncomfortable talking to you when he or she is upset, encourage your teen to talk to one of his or her trusted friends or to another adult.

Alternatively, encourage your teen to write in a journal. DON’T READ YOUR TEENS JOURNAL!! This fosters feelings of betrayal, resentment, anger, and untrustworthiness. I know when I was a teen and my mom read my diary on a regular basis, despite my efforts to hide it from her, I was MUCH LESS likely to share with her than if she had sat down to talk to me calmly and rationally.

Allow your teen to have a space all their own: For many teens, their bedrooms is where they feel they can find solace, so do your best to not invade their privacy consistently. As long as their rooms aren’t so messy that it causes a fire hazard or attracts bugs or something of that sort, allow your teen to decorate his or her room the way he or she wants to. Having a place where your teen can go to veg is important for their stress relief.

Please tell me what you think in the comments section below!

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