Nov 24 2008
Reducing Stress Dealing with Difficult Family Members at Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving is later this week, and that may be both joyous and stressful for many people and their families. Not only is there the stress of cooking a Thanksgiving dinner if you are hosting a family gathering, there may also be the stress of needing to deal with difficult family members. While you may not get along with your mother, your cousin, or your sister-in-law, avoiding contact with these individuals during the holidays is usually not a viable option for many people. Here are some tips that may help you deal with difficult family members this holiday season.
1. Be Prepared: If you know your mom is going to criticize the way your home is decorated or your cooking, just be prepared for a comment about it. There is no need to respond to such criticism. If you feel you will say something you will regret later in response to criticism, just leave the room or change the subject. Try to let criticism and harsh comments roll off your back, as hard as that may be.
2. Stay Away From Sticky Subjects: You might know what sets off conflict with certain family members. For instance, I don’t generally talk about work with my family because it tends to start arguments. If you know what might lead to conflict, try to avoid those topics. If someone tries to delve into one of those topics with you, politely change the subject or leave the room if you need to.
3. Remind Yourself (and your family) What You Love About Them: This Thanksgiving, try reminding yourself of your family members’ positive attributes. Does your mother make you laugh and have a good sense of humor? Does your sister-in-law have insightful things to say in conversation? What positive things do you love about your family?
When someone tries to start a conflict, instead of responding with loaded words, try reminding yourself and your family member why you love them. Give them a compliment instead. This will help them feel appreciated and, diffuse the situation, and may help them feel better about themselves, which may help them feel less of a need to put you down or start arguments.
Perhaps this year, each family member can say something nice about the person to their left or right this year - something they are thankful for in that person - before you eat Thanksgiving dinner.
4. If Need Be, Limit Time with Family: If spending time with a certain family member is too stressful, limit the time you spend around him or her. If conflict inevitably erupts between you, try keeping your distance from him or her this Thanksgiving by talking with that person for a limited amount of time or in short intervals during the gathering. If dealing with that family member is simply too stressful, you may want to consider spending Thanksgiving elsewhere this year to keep your health in tact.
I hope these tips help you reduce stress this Thanksgiving in dealing with difficult relatives.
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Source:
About.com: How to Become Adept at Dealing with Difficult People and Avoiding Conflict
